Preteens, they are just different

If you have ever looked around during a children's service or a Sunday/Wednesday night program it becomes obvious pretty quickly that there is an age group that feels a bit out of place at times. It's the 5th and 6th graders. Now don't get me wrong. I love this age group personally. They are beginning to mature and can grasp abstract ideas. They have developed a good sense of humor and aren't afraid to joke around with you. But they also feel to old to do motions to songs, or participate in the fun but child like activities at times. This causes an awkwardness for them because they feel they belong but at the same time they don't.

An obvious solution to this is to give the 5th and 6th graders their own ministry. Allow them have their own services, programs, events. But the majority of churches today aren't able to support another minister, and space just for this age group. So the question we, as children's ministers, should be asking is how can we connect and stay engaged with this age group through these "awkward years", as they prepare to enter into the youth ministry? Like I said I love interacting with preteens and here are some strategies I have used to keep them engage and excited in our children's ministry, while still providing lessons and Biblical truths on their level.

1) Talk and connect with them specifically on their level. Now of course as a children's minister, you should try to connect with all ages. But walking into a conversation with preteens and talking about the coolest new Disney movie, Lego set, or Barbie isn't always going to work. At this age kids are involved in sports, band, and different movies/books. I can't tell you how many of our preteen girls are obsessed with the Hunger Games right now. Make sure you stay on relevant topics with this age group.

2) Give them special events. While the majority of our events are targeted toward the overall K-6th grade, we have several specific events each year just for our preteens. Whether it is going swimming at a church members house, a Preteen weekend (just like a DNOW) or something else, give the preteens something special for them. This shows you care, and are consciously providing ways for them to spend time together and in God's word on their level. Also I always have a end of the summer event as a special "going away" present to our 6th graders.

3) Give them jobs. That's right give the preteens jobs in your ministry. Need some help with music in children's church? Grab some of your faithful preteens and let them help an adult lead music. Need someone to game carry supplies or clean up after a game? Get a clean up team of preteens. The list could go on but the point is clear. Giving the preteens ownership of the ministry through small jobs relays a message of their importance to you, the children's minister.

So how are you going to keep preteens engaged in your ministry? Please share any ideas below in the comments section.

Kids and conversion

I had the chance to attend a National VBSI training conference this past week. It was great, and I can't wait to take back some ideas to my church and state. But there is one breakout session that stuck out to me. It was titled Kids and Conversion and done by Jerry Vogel of Lifeway. This is such an important topic. A kids salvation is nothing to take lightly. So here are some things Jerry reminded me of this past week.

1. Stay away from "churchy" words.

Now of course those of us, who go to church regularly and have been a Christian for a while, understand what words such as repentance, salvation, and being washed in Jesus' blood mean. But a kid often does not. So be ready to explain these "churchy" words that we have become so accustomed to.

2. Always counsel kids 1 on 1.

This allows the child to speak for themselves. If you get a bunch together there will always be a few that speak up over the rest. Of course if a kid hears the "right" answer they are going to repeat it, because it is right. The question though still remains if they understand the why?

3. Ask open ended questions.

It is very easy to ask a yes or no question. Do you want to be saved? Do you want to spend eternity in hell? But as we counsel children, try and ask open ended question so you can better see where they stand spiritually. Questions like What is sin? Why do we need Jesus to save us? How did Jesus pay for our sins?

This is one of the highlights of being a kidmin leader, getting to see a child come to know Christ! How exciting! It doesn't get better than that. But let's make sure we counsel them in the right manner and let Jesus do the rest.

Keeping up with the times

          I'm sure that most of you can relate, that as a children's pastor there is still a little kid or sometimes a lot in all of us. We can remember what it was like when we were kids too. Who the popular music singers were, the best tv shows, movies, toys. Recently, I came across an article on Facebook about all the different foods that 90's kids knew but were no longer being made today. Man that made me sad. But I learned something through that article. Times change. What was popular even just 5 years ago may not be anymore. But I'm afraid that we often take these memories from our childhood and apply them to kids today. Instead of realizing that today's kids have different sports, music, and movie role models than we did. Even when I go eat lunch at some different schools, kids are amazed that at one time you always got fries or tator tots in the school cafeteria. By placing our memories in their lives this places us, the children's minister, back in time though. Which means we can become outdated and ineffective in reaching today's kids for Christ. So one challenge for myself and for you as well, is to keep up with the times. Find out what is popular currently and what kids go through on a daily basis. As Karl Bastian, the founder of Kidology.org, would probably say we need to become kidiologist. But how can we do that? Here are some ideas I got partly from him and would like to pass on.

1. Never pass a toy store without going into it. This allows us to see what the coolest new gadgets and toys are for kids, not to mention you may find something for yourself too.

2. Read some popular kids books. If there is a popular series coming out that a lot of preteens are reading (like Harry Potter back in the day) then pick it up and read it. This lets you know what kids are being exposed to and gives you something to talk about with them.

3. Watch the Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, or whatever TV channel or movie is popular for kids. Not that this is all you watch but spend some time each day trying to watch a show kids do.

4. Watch the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. This easily in a few hours allows you to see who the popular music, actors, and sports stars are in kids lives today.

The main thing to remember is that by staying relevant we can more easily and effectively connect and minister to children today. There are many other ways you can find out what is popular with kids today. If you have any ideas please share them in the comment box below.

Counseling kids

Counseling kids can be an exciting but nerve racking event. There is the excitement that God is doing something in the child's life. But not only is He moving in their life, God is using you as well in this process. It's always a great feeling to know you are being used by the almighty creator. On the same token, counseling a kid can be a very delicate process. As one presents the gospel, they must be certain the child is answering questions on their own, and that they understand.

This past week I found myself in this very situation. A parent had come to me stating their child was asking questions and wanting to be baptized. I of course agreed to sit down and talk with the child. This is a favorite part of my job after all. As we preceded through what baptism means, what sin is and the gospel it became obvious that while the little girl was asking questions it just hadn't clicked yet. I'm so grateful for the Holy Spirit's discernment in times like this. 

This past week reminded me of the awesome opportunity we have to reach kids with the gospel of Christ. But at the same time that opportunity comes with great responsibility. So next time you get to counsel a child I want to encourage you. Pray for discernment and clear words. Let the child answer even if this creates a long pause. Finally, let the Holy Spirit take over and guide you. 

Training Workers

One thing that every children's ministry needs is equipped, committed, and faithful workers.  After all you can't do everything yourself in the children's ministry or at least you shouldn't. But that is a whole different topic. Now i'm sure you have some people like this is your ministry already. There are some people who just naturally are very gifted, even at being a children's ministry worker. I believe that every worker can become this equipped and committed worker though. It just takes time and effort from you, the children's minister, to help aid and equip them for that purpose.

But in today's world it is a fact that people are ever increasingly busy. This presents a problem when it comes to pouring into today's children's ministry workers. At a Conference I went to several months ago only 1 out of 25-30 children's ministers were having a monthly training, where most if not all their workers attended.  This shows us that today meeting once a month at a set time does not always promise a good turnout. Which means that some of your workers are being equipped while others are missing good training points. The majority of the children's ministers had one meeting every quarter or half a year for training. This doesn't give a lot of time to equip those in the forefront battle ground of your children's ministry.

So in order to equip your workers one is going to have to think outside of the box. How can I equip my workers and manage to not ask of a lot of time from their daily schedules? This is a question I have looked into myself. Here are two ideas I came up with. Perhaps some of ya'll have come up with another solution. I'd love to here how others are equipping their workers, please leave your training strategies in the comments below.

1) Training Online

There are several different online training tools available today. My children's ministry is actually in the process of getting all our workers signed up for this as we speak. One benefit of training online is that you can track each workers progress, allowing you to provide different trainings for more seasoned children's ministry workers. These also give you a database of training videos so you don't always have to make your own.

2) CD/DVD

Another thing you could try is making a CD/DVD each month for every worker with videos or audio on it. This takes a bit more work as you have to make and/or compile the videos. But it allows them to carry the training with them anywhere they may go.

Ultimately I believe that a key to equipping today's kidmin workers is making training conveniently available. Whether this is online, through a CD or DVD, people will be more willing to listen or watch a short 5-10 min training if they can listen while driving to work or pull up a video on their Ipad during commercial breaks. The question is how will you equip your kidmin workers?

Reaching out to kids . . . outside of church

One thing that I love doing is seeing kids outside of a church setting. To me it seems to help everyone relax. I also believe it helps show the kids that you really are the same in church and out of church, you’re a follower of Christ everywhere. Your faith is real. Which is a great example I think they need to see. Here are a two ways I’ve found to connect with kids outside of the typical church environment.

First, you could try to meet them at school. Now I know this is easier said than done in some places. I’ve been in a ministry situation where schools would let me come for FCA and that’s it. I’ve been in a school system that didn’t want me to come at all. I’ve also been in situations where I can come to lunch, morning devotions, and special events to help. Either way it is worth finding out what they will let you participate in. Schools are the biggest single place you can meet kids on their terms and share the message of Christ with them.

One way I get into the schools is at lunch. I have a “Lunch Box” at our church and allow kids to place a ticket in the Lunch Box. Once a week during school I draw a name and eat lunch with that child. Now before you go do this 1) call the schools for approval and 2) I check with the parent of the child I draw each week. But this allows me to meet our kids, bring them a cool dessert, and meet kids that don’t go to our church as well. It’s easily the biggest mission field I have in our community. You could also attend a student’s band recital or play as well. This of course will be after school hours but still shows them you care and you get to meet and connect with the family, not just the individual child.

Secondly, you could go to a child’s ball game. I’d be willing to say that almost all kids play in at least one rec league during their lifetime. You can quickly find out if a kid is playing a sport by just simply asking them. Afterwards talk to their parents and ask when their next game is and if they mind you coming to support the child. You can go support the child in your ministry and sit with their family to connect with them on a deeper level as well. After all, as a children’s minister, we should be partnering with the parents to aid in their child’s spiritual development. That involves getting to know them too, not just their kid. The child will also probably be thrilled their children’s pastor cared about them enough to come to a game.

These are just two ways you could connect with kids outside of church. I’d love to hear of some other ideas for meeting kids outside the church walls! Just post your ideas in the comments section below.

 

Starting a new school year

Well it's hard to believe but summer is actually starting to wind down. To me it seems like summer just started. Maybe your preparing for the last "big" event of the summer. Perhaps your just trying to make sure programs get through the summer or your recovering from the summer already. Either way this can be an important time in ministry. Here are a couple things to help you transition into the fall.

First, finish well. After all summer isn't over yet. There is no need to throw in the towel or enter cruising mode. There are still events and programs in the summer that need to be done. But not just thrown together. These need to be carried out with excellence, just like the rest of your children's ministry. Make sure that you finish the summer as strong as it began. 

Secondly, look forward. The fall is coming so what's happening in your ministry? Fall festival, family nights, maybe a big children's event. Start looking ahead and planning now. That way your not scrambling last minute. 

Thirdly, get involved. Schools soon will be back in session, so how could you get involved? Maybe it's first priority, eating lunch with the kids, helping one of the ball teams, or even just bringing some snacks for the teachers. Anyway you can meet with the kids outside of church is a plus. 

 

Expanding your horizons

So what is one thing kids love? Yes, they love candy. And yes, video games, sports, and the disney channel are very popular. But one thing I see kids always getting excited about is something new! It really doesn't matter what it is, if it's new that brings excitement, and anticipation into their lives. 

Yet, often times I've also seen ministries and ministry workers get into a rut of doing things the way they have always been done. Now this isn't all bad. It provides structure and a sense of what to expect for the children. But if every once in a while we, as children's ministry volunteers and ministers, would expand our horizons, step out of our comfort zones and try to do something new, the way kids view our ministry, events, teaching, and even us could drastically change. By changing a teaching style Sunday school can go from normal to exciting, especially for the child that is not just a verbal learner. Learning a new skill could take your children's church to a level of awesomeness not yet reached. But it takes time, effort, and a willingness to try something new.   

This is something recently I've been faced with in my ministry. But not because things have become typical or old news but rather because of God's leading. I have begun to attempt learning to juggle and use a diablo (Chinese yo-yo). To me this is something drastically new and will take a long time to form a "routine" and get comfortable with it. But when the kids at my church see a Chinese yo-yo in a object lesson, I bet they listen because it's something new and exciting. 

 

The question for you is what new skill or trick could you learn? Maybe it's a magic trick, using art, or utilizing the kids to tell a story. The possibilities are almost limitless. 

 

A passion for kids

               From the moment I realized God was calling me into a vocational ministry, it was children’s ministry that He led me to. Of course I can confidently say this looking back into the past but I really do believe that children’s ministry has always been where I was supposed to be. During high school I got to intern with the children’s minister in my home church, and I worked for an after school day care (man that was fun). My wife, I am sure will tell you that now I’m just a kid trapped in an adult’s body. But what drives this passion for kids to come to know Christ?

                Of course the easy answer for me is God made me this way. Also early on in ministry and even today I’m aware that studies state a majority of people accept Christ before they are 13 years old. In 2004 Barna stated this number was around 50%.[1] Not that i'm saying any other area of ministry is unimportant. Both of these are some great reasons for me to be passionate about children’s ministry but that not the only reason.

                There are several passages that are my “favorite” or I feel extra drawn to in God's word. Isaiah 6, the story of Gideon and David are favorites of mine for instance. But so is the scripture found in Matthew 19:13-15 which reads, “Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” And He laid His hands on them and departed from there”.

                In this passage we see an account of Jesus taking time out of his short stay here on earth, to especially spend with children. I’m not sure why but this scripture has always stuck with me. Often I find myself asking “If in this passage of scripture, Jesus found the children so important shouldn’t they be important to me?” Now don’t get me wrong as a minister you are a minister to everyone. Children is just where most of my time is spent. But it is also purposefully where my time is most spent because that is where God has placed a special passion in my life for. Maybe you find yourself with this passion as well? Maybe your just looking for some kid min ideas. Please continue to join me as we begin to walk through this together. Also let me know what drives your passion for children's ministry too.

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[1] https://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/5-barna-update/196-evangelism-is-most-effective-among-kids#.U4T-rNFOVes